Synopsis
Breaker James Collins is confined in a prison of his own making. Scarred doesn’t begin to define his hell since finding out his girlfriend had cheated, stolen, and lied two years ago. It led to a single event—one that would blacken his days and his nights from then on. Since then, he hasn’t left his house, crippled by fear of people and any social interaction.
Ashland talks too much and has the voice of a meth-laden prairie dog, or so she’s always been told. She’s
been called annoying and irritating all of her life and gave up on having friends for a long time. College has given her a new lease on a social life and she’s embraced who she is. But now she’s waiting for the one guy who can take her breath away and put up with her antics.
A simple note pinned to a corkboard will lead Ash right to Breaker’s solitary world and she will learn that just because a guy doesn’t fit her ideal, doesn’t mean she won’t fall head over feet in love.
4.5 Star Review
"I've got to find a way to live." ~ Breaker James
I became a big fan of Lila's after reading her Love and Skate series. I love her writing and after reading the teasers for Anguish I could not wait to read it and Lila Felix definitely does not disappoint. Anguish is a heart warming story about healing, love and moving on.
Breaker James has been living in a state of anguish for the past two years. When he found out that his girlfriend not only cheated on him, but also used him for his money, he completely broke down. It's been two years since that happened and two years since Breaker has left his house. In his mind staying inside where he has no interaction with people is the safest option. If he shuts everyone out then no one can hurt him or use him again. After two years his mother is basically fed up and tells him that she is hiring a full time live in maid to help clean the house. That is the last thing that Breaker wants, but has no choice but to accept it. What he doesn't know is that the girl who is hired to take care of his house will change his life forever.
Ashland is a college student looking for extra money. Her mother passed away when she was younger so it is just her and her dad. But her dad has been struggling financially so Ashland needs extra money for school and an apartment. Ashland has never really had many friends due to her irritating voice and tendency to talk too much. Most people find her to be annoying and have no problem expressing these feelings to her. She never really had anyone she can count on or anyone who loved her for who she is. While at school one day she checks the bulletin board for jobs and sees a post it note from someone who is looking for a live in maid, which would be the perfect job for Ashland, considering she needs money and a place to live. That little post-it note is what leads her to Breaker James, the boy that would capture her heart.
"Your voice is heaven to me. and lately it's brought me out of my hell. do do me a favor and quit downgrading the power of that sweet tone. I love it." ~ Breaker
Breaker wasn't exactly the nicest person when Ashland first started, OK he was pretty much a jerk to her. But he realized that being a jerk wasn't him and regardless of how he felt about her being there he had to deal with it. When Breaker first meets her his sees how beautiful she is and loves the sound of her voice. He loves her sarcastic side and her ability to say what she feels. The things that tend to bother most people about Ashland is what he loves the most about her. I think his feelings for her is what scared him and caused him to be a jerk at times. He liked her, but how do you date a girl when you can't even leave your home?
"You see the parts of me that I'd learned to hate and called them heaven. You listened to the words that others complained about and begged me to talk to you more. You see me Breaker." ~ Ashland
From the moment Ashland first met Breaker she saw the sadness in his eyes. She didn't know why or who caused that sadness but she wanted to find out. She wanted to know everything about him and what caused his break down that has made him a prisoner in his own home. But what started out as a job turned into so much more. She wants to help Breaker because she cares for him. She wants to know more about the real Breaker, not the one that has locked himself up and shut himself out from the rest of the world. She slowly helps him step back out into the world that he once lived in. He is slowly getting his life back. Breaker is taking it one step at a time, and as long as he has Ash by his side he feels he can do it. She helps him to heal and move on. Or does she?
Breaker is falling for Ashland and loves spending time with her. And he feels that with Ash by his side he can do anything, but when you really look beneath the surface, you see the truth, which is that he isn't better, because he has now become dependent on her. Sure he can leave the house and experience the normal things of everyday living, but only if she is with him. They both know the truth, but they are both afraid to admit what is really happening. Will Breaker lose the woman he loves and go back to the lonely life he has been living for the past two years? Or will he fight the fight? Will he fight for the life he once had, fight to be the person he used to be and will he fight for a future with Ashland?
"You know who I am. You saw the worst of me before you saw anything else." ~ Breaker
Once again Lila Felix has created characters that you will fall in love with. Ashland and Breaker were so perfect for each other and I loved every minute of their story. They understood each other, and never judged each other. The sarcastic and witty banter between the two of them will make you smile. I admired the both of them in so many ways. Ashland was an amazing heroine, she was witty and beautiful, strong and independent. Breaker was a broken young man who had some mental issues. But I admired his strength, courage and determination to become the man he used to be before his ex, Holly, trampled all over him.
This wasn't a story just about love, it is a story that explores deeper issues, it's about being able to heal and move on and not just for the people around you but for yourself. What I loved about this story was that it never felt rushed. Breaker didn't go outside one day and forget every problem that he had. He wasn't miraculously healed because an amazing girl came into his life. It was a process for him which is what made this story wonderful, and real. Anguish was beautifully written in a way that you will connect with both Ashland and Breaker. You feel the emotions that they are going through and your heart aches for Breaker at times. Breaker and Ashland had their ups and downs in their relationship but they both fought until the end. And in the end you will be left smiling. Another amazing job by Lila Felix.
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