Blog Tour: The Rocker That Needs Me by Terri Anne Browning

Synopsis

The Demon…

I’ve been fighting my own demons for most of my life. The alcohol seems to numb the pain, but it never makes the nightmares go away. All I want in life is a little peace. When I met my angel it felt like I found it, but there is so much standing between us. Why does she have to be so young…?

The Demon’s Angel…

Meeting Drake was the best thing to ever happen to me. I found my friend, my soul mate. But he lets my age stand between us. There is something that haunts him, and I selfishly want to be the one that helps him conquer his ghosts. If he would just let me in, let me closer, I think I could help him…

4.5 Star Review

Demon’s Wings band members consists of Nik (he and Emmie’s story was The Rocker that Holds Me, Jesse (he romanced the love of his life in The Rocker That Savors Me) and that leaves brothers Drake and Shane.  Shane keeps his own nightmares at bay with a continual parade of women, orgies and sex clubs. His story will be the focus of the next installment. Drake is a tortured soul, who has demons of his own he battles. Totally smitten with Layla’s sister, Lana, he has found the one thing that brings peace to his life. There is a wide gap in age, Drake is in his early thirties and Lana has only recently turned 18 and graduated from high school. She is wise beyond her years, and learned first hand how easily rockers hook up and dump women. Her mother’s relationships with rock stars resulted in both her birth and her sister Layla’s. Although she wishes Drake would think of her as something more than a little sister, she doubts there can ever be anything more.

Though the two are close, Drake’s best friend is a bottle of Jack Daniels. He may have cut down on his drinking, but he still reaches for it when stressed or in need of an outlet to find sleep. His feelings for Lana are far from sisterly, but he knows she is young and has her whole life ahead of her. He thinks he is tainted (courtesy of the secrets of his past) and he knows she is worthy of so much more than what he can offer her.

“Is it all you hoped for? All you ever wanted?” “No. It isn’t all I ever wanted. After the first year or so, I was already burned out. I want more from life than rock-and-roll. I love making music. I love the thrill of playing for a crowd. But I hate the life that comes with it.” 

Lines are crossed, lives are changed and feelings bubble to the surface. Drake makes a stupid mistake, how I wanted to smack him up the side of his head! Lana alters her plans for college (and proceeds to awaken the protective beast in Jesse) and puts thousands of miles between her and Drake. 

“Can you forgive me, Angel?” Can you forgive me for what I did?”

Her new living arrangement introduces us to a whole new group of characters. She has 3 roommates; Dallas (an ex-model), Harper-a gorgeous go getter with self- esteem issues and Linc, a swoon worthy hunk of man who prefers males to females. Drake does some serious soul searching and takes steps to correct the wrongs the must be righted. I loved the changes that evolved for these two, there is never any doubt they are true soul mates, but they need to fix the cracks in both their personalities before they can have their HEA. They need to learn that they can stand on their own before they can allow themselves to lean on each other. Axton, a sometimes nice guy, sometimes douche, is back in the story and I can see some possibilities with Dallas. Shane, my other tortured rocker may have met his match with Harper. She is not easily impressed and for the first time in his life, Shane has to work at something. I love all of them, I see so much material for continuing stories that I hope Ms. Browning continues entertaining and wowing us for many books to come.

"Is that what you thought?” He sighed, leaning his forehead against mine. I can’t live without you, Angel. I love you.”

 

Three Chicks interview Lana and Drake

Three Chicks:  Thanks for spending some time with us. It’s great to see the two of you looking so happy together! 

Lana: Thank you! 

Drake: Thanks for having us.

Three Chicks:  Congrats on the wonderful changes in your life! Are you ready to welcome the newest member of the Stevenson family?

Lana: As ready as any parents could be, I guess. It’s been a scary eight months, though. I have been terrified that something was going to happen like last time.

Drake: (Rubs Lana’s very large stomach, then grins when he feels the baby kick) I think we are getting there. The house is ready for us to move in and we now have a condo in California that has plenty of room for the baby. 

Lana: (Winks) And it’s close to my sister and, of course, Emmie.

Three Chicks:  You both had a powerful response to one another when you were first introduced. Obviously the age difference–Drake, you were 31 and Lana was 17-made you put the brakes on acting on those responses. Tell us about that connection you both felt. 

Lana: For me it was like being struck by lightning. It was scary and thrilling all at the same time. And even though it took me a little while I realized that it must have been love at first sight. My soul was reacting to finding it’s mate… 

Drake: (Stares at Lana for a long moment, then clears his throat) Yeah, that’s exactly what it was.

Three Chicks:  Drake-from the first time you saw Lana, your nickname for her was “angel”. How did that thought just pop up in your head? 

Drake: I’m not all together sure why that just popped into my head when I first saw her. Maybe because she was so beautiful and in that instant my soul felt like it was starting to heal after all the sh... Um, crap that I had been through. The angel healed the demon.

Three Chicks:  Drake-Besides music, has drawing always been an outlet for you to express your emotions? 

Drake: Almost always. Drawing lets me express what I can’t get out in words. I can put all the darkness and hate into a drawing. Just as I can put all the beauty and love that Lana has given me into one.

Three Chicks:  Drake-because of your past, you’ve admitted you were the least close to Emmie, why is that? The abuse she suffered would never make her judge anything in your history, so why did that hold you back from her? 

Drake: It wasn’t because I thought she would judge me. Her own abuse was what drew me to her in the first place. I just felt so dirty. Unworthy. My abuse tarnished my soul. It was the same reasons I held back from Lana for so long. I didn’t want to sully her with my past.

Three Chicks:  Lana, you seemed to share a special relationship with Shane almost immediately. He enjoys that friendship just as much. What clicks for the two of you? 

Lana: I’m not sure what exactly makes Shane so special for me. Perhaps it’s because he is Drake’s brother and what connection we share has transferred over to how I feel for Shane. Or maybe it’s that Shane is special. He hides behind the women and the bad boy rocker persona, but I can see how hard his and Drake’s past has been for him. Shane is loving, so loving.

Three Chicks:  Lana, how is your relationship with Cole Steel right now? Do you think he will want to spend time with his grandchild? 

Lana: We are still working on our relationship. It’s been hard for me to forgive, and I have for the most part. Forgetting, however, is another matter altogether. But we are both hoping that his grandchild with heal what still needs mending between us. Cole is every excited for the new addition to our strange family.

Three Chicks:  Lana, how did it make you feel when Drake blacked out the memory of your first night together? 

Lana: (grimaces) It pissed me off! But I didn’t want to show it. I couldn’t let him see how destroyed that made me. And I didn’t want him to hurt any more than he already was. After his confession the night before all I wanted to do was protect him, even if that meant hurting myself.
 

Three Chicks:  Drake, how badly do you feel that you can’t remember your first night with Lana? 

Drake: It kills me! Every time I think about it, it drives me a little crazy. I’ve always wanted to be Lana’s first, and for a while I thought that I hadn’t been honored with that special gift. Then to learn that I had, and that I would never remember even a moment of it? I feel as if I’ve let her down, and that’s worse than anything else.

Three Chicks:  Drake, why did you bring that groupie back to your room in Vegas? Even though you couldn’t remember your night with Lana you hadn’t been doing skanks ever since you met Lana-so what changed?

Drake: Watching Jesse and Layla getting married had made me want something that I thought I couldn’t have. I still felt unworthy of Lana, but wanted her so desperately. When I started drinking at the club with Shane, I became angry at the world. After going to rehab I had plenty of time to think about it and came to the conclusion that I was unconsciously punishing Lana for being everything I wanted and couldn’t have.

Three Chicks:  Drake, making the decision to go into rehab and then staying an extra 30 days took a lot of courage. How did you arrive at that first decision? 

Drake: After Lana told me that I had ruined my chance of being with her I got completely wasted. Shane found me and ripped into me about everything. I realized then that I had to get help or I would never be worthy of Lana or anyone else in my life. The first two times I had tried rehab it had been because my band brothers and Emmie had talked me into it. This time I was doing it for myself…And especially Lana. After a few weeks I realized that one month wasn’t going to even start fixing what was broken in me, if I could even be fixed.

Three Chicks:  Drake, your therapy session with Shane and Dr. Kent broke our hearts. You must have been blindsided by Shane’s guilty feelings. How shocked were you to find out he had been keeping all of that locked inside him? 

Drake: It destroyed me. I had thought for so long he blamed me, so it never crossed my mind that he would be feeling just as guilty. I was gutted that my little brother felt the burden of our mother’s death lay on his shoulders… 

Lana: (Reaches for Drake’s hand and entwines their fingers but remains quiet as she lends her husband strength)

Three Chicks:  Lana, you had the best roommates in New York and we are hoping to hear more about them! How much did you love living with such a unique group of people who really loved you just as you are? 

Lana: (Smiles) It was so great! It helped so much with the homesickness. Being surrounded by people who loved me unconditionally made me feel like I was still at home with Layla and Lucy.

Three Chicks:  Drake, what thoughts did you have when you found out about Lana and Cole Steel? 

Drake: The first thought I had was that she didn’t trust me, which was like a slash to the heart. Then I kept thinking ‘How the fu*k did that pri*k produce such a beautiful creature like my angel?’

Three Chicks:  Drake, you do know we wanted to punch you in the throat when you woke up with Gabriella Moreitti in your bed. Why were your clothes off if nothing happened as she said. If she took you home to make sure you were okay, how did you wind up in bed? 

Drake: (Bows his head in regret) I don’t know. I wish I did. 

Lana: (Squeezes Drake’s hand reassuringly) I confronted Gabriella last year and got the whole story from her. She took Drake home and then he told her she could crash in one of the other rooms if she needed to. He went to bed and she didn’t pay attention to which room he went into. The lights were off and she was too wasted to realized that someone else was already in the bed.

Three Chicks:  Lana, you had such guilt that you had told Drake about your first time with him and forgave him for losing the baby. How did you get past his going back to his old habits that quickly? 

Lana: It’s simple. I love him. Everyone makes mistakes, and yes Drake has made more than his fair share of them. But so have I. Besides, since that horrible weekend Drake has dedicated his life to loving me. Sure he still needs a meeting every now and then when I’m being unreasonable or life just gets in the way, but he hasn’t touch a bottle in two years.

Three Chicks:  Drake, have you made peace with yourself for hurting Lana by not remembering your first time and for the clusterfu*k of Gabriella Moreitti? 

Drake: I’ve made peace, yes. Forgiven myself? No. It’s something I will always regret. 

Three Chicks:  Lana, are you still in grad school? How are you juggling everything these days? 

Lana: Grad school is on hold for the moment. I only have a year and a half left, but getting our family into the world happy and healthy is more important than school. I don’t really have much to juggle. Emmie had flown out to help with the house and anything else we could possible need help with. I have to say that as rocky as the beginning of my relationship with Emmie was, I don’t know what I would do without her in my life now.

Three Chicks:  Drake, how will you tour, especially overseas, with the baby now? 

Drake: Touring overseas has been put on hold. At least for the band. Jesse and I both have decided that we aren’t going to travel with our kids so young. We are all doing our own thing for a while. I have responsibilities with America’s Rocker and Emmie and Nik are planning on doing a few things in Europe and the UK to promote Nik’s solo album… No, we aren’t breaking up! I swear. (Laughs)

Three Chicks:  Do you hope to add more kids to the family?

Lana: (Shrugs) We haven’t really talked about it. But yes, I would like more kids. 

Drake: (Nods) I want as many as Lana is willing to give me.

Thanks for spending time with us-especially for clearing up the Gabriella mess. We wish you the best with your new addition!

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