Summary:
What does Drew Evans have to say next? Find out in this forty page short story, filled with his sexy charm, unique advice and hilarious one-liners.
Marriage: the final frontier. Steven went first. He was kind of our test subject. Like those monkeys that NASA sent off into space in the fifties, all the while knowing they’d never make it back.
And now another poor rocket is ready to launch.
But this isn’t just any posh New York wedding. You’ve seen my friends, you’ve met our families, you know you're in for a treat. Everyone wants their wedding to be memorable. This one’s going to be un-frigging-forgettable.
Marriage: the final frontier. Steven went first. He was kind of our test subject. Like those monkeys that NASA sent off into space in the fifties, all the while knowing they’d never make it back.
And now another poor rocket is ready to launch.
But this isn’t just any posh New York wedding. You’ve seen my friends, you’ve met our families, you know you're in for a treat. Everyone wants their wedding to be memorable. This one’s going to be un-frigging-forgettable.
Holy Frigging Matrimony takes place about a year after Tangled’s end and is from Drew’s POV
4.5 Star review by Lisa Kane
Drew and
Kate from Tangled have been living together in domestic bliss for months now.
This is a short story surrounding a wedding. Who are the bride and groom you
ask? You’ll just have to read it to have that one answered.
They are
staying at The Plaza. In separate rooms. Not together. In fact, it’s been 24
hours since they have seen each other and Drew isn’t taking that well.
She’s behind the closed bathroom
door, probably taking a bath. And she doesn’t know I’m here yet. It’s going to
be a surprise. A lust filled, haven’t-seen-her-in –twenty-four-hours-and-I-can’t-wait-to-get-inside-her
kind of surprise.
How can you
not love the inner thoughts of this man?
And it still gets me. The undiluted
gratification of going down on her. Of giving her bliss. But as happy as I am
that I made her come, my own hedonistic craving pushes at me, driving me like
the roar of a crowd at a college football game. Go, go, go!
This little
novelette is jam packed with advice from Drew and his infinite wisdom;
Advice for a
woman to indulge in some self- pleasuring to turn on her guy;
“So if you ladies are looking to
spice things up a bit? Try a little self-diddling. Trust me-your audience will
be begging for an encore.”
This little
gem when confronted by Kate’s enthusiasm for her dress;
“My favorite dress of yours will
always be…the one on the floor.”
This is all
told in Drew’s POV-really who else could do it justice? There are mishaps,
fisticuffs, broken dishes, public revelations about Kate’s fellatio talents,
crazy relatives;
For Kate’s birthday, Amelia sent her
a huge, heavy natural crystal necklace harvested from the caves of Perigord,
because she believes they’ll protect Kate’s lungs from the city air pollution.
It’s a shame, how stringent the involuntary commitment protocols in this
country have become.
And just
like any event filled with lots of family and friends, this one has a little
drama. This comes by way of an appearance from Billy, Kate’s old boyfriend.
“You know something, Evans? I see
right through you. You come off all arrogant and full of yourself, but deep
down? You’re shitting your pants. Cause you know it’s just a matter of time
before Kate is down with you.” “I’m sorry-I don’t speak vagina. Just what the
hell is that supposed to mean?”
This little
convo leads Drew to worry maybe he is the rebound guy after Billy. But then
again, this is Drew we are talking about..no lack of ego here folks.
For such a
short story, this one is long on laughs!
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