A is for Alpha Male by Laurel Ulen Curtis
Hello, ladies! Dan Smith here, dropping by to give my fondest holiday wishes and some unsolicited advice.
First off...Happy Holidays!
May your glasses be full, your alphas be virile, and your lists be fulfilled.
Be confident in who you are, make your man work to please you, and don’t settle for love that’s easily paralleled.
I’d tell you how pretty you all are, but I’m not fond of Haley’s threats that involve the words “dick” and “catastrophic mutilation” in tandem. And she’s just crazy enough that I take these things seriously.
Don’t worry, though. I can handle her. Ever since the YouTube debacle, she takes paranoia to a knew level, thinking everyone who glances her way just wants to give her an unfair rating on her swan dive. It’s pretty entertaining, but it also takes a certain amount of finesse to contain the damage. Something I’ve perfected.
God, I love her.
In fact, I love every crazy second. And underneath all of her theatrics, the love she shows me in return has more warmth than the fleeciest of blankets.
Having Haley makes this Christmas the best one for me on record, and that’s saying something. Thanks to my elephant brain, just one virtual perusal into my brain brings up a tidy transcription of each and every one.
But what makes it even better is you guys! Three Chicks and their readers are the best. Without you, I wouldn’t exist. Literally.
Wishing all of you health, happiness, and loads of laughter this holiday season!
An Unplanned Lesson and An Unplanned Life by Beth Rinyu
So, I guess this is supposed to be one of those family
letters that my mother would get every Christmas from a bunch of people that
she wouldn't talk to all year long, but felt compelled to recap how perfect the
past year of their life was. It was all laid out perfectly on one page that was
decorated with candy canes and Christmas trees or some shit like that.
Well rest assured, I'm not going to bore you with the
details of how perfect my life and my family has been for the past year
because we are far from it, and that's fine by me. Instead, I will tell you my version of perfect.
Ryan is a sixth grader and in middle school. I’m really still having a hard time believing
it. He's not a straight A student and even gets an occasional D, but I'm still
just as proud as can be of him. Not to mention he's got the best pitching
arm out of anyone his age. His phone is already ringing off the hook with girls
calling him, another proud uncle moment for me. I just wish Nicole could be
equally as happy about that one.
Ella, well she's deep within her terrible two's. Of
course I could overlook anything she does because she is just so damn cute.
She’s very stubborn and strong willed, just like her mother. Even though Nicole
swears she’s just like me. Her vocabulary has greatly expanded as well,
even though the stuff she is saying may be "inappropriate" as Nicole
likes to call it, they're still some pretty damn big words! And to
me that’s all they are, just plain old words. Who made up that bullshit about
certain words being bad and having everyone gasp or look down on you for saying
them? I tried selling Nicole on that theory but she wasn't buying
it. Especially after Ella said "bullshit" to her preschool
teacher when she didn't want to clean up from playtime (it amazed me how some
of her words were so much clearer than others and that just happens to be one
of them). As you can guess that didn't go over too great with Nicole. She
insisted that she learned that from me. I really don’t think that
she did. All of you know that isn’t my
word of choice that I use on a daily basis. She would have been much better off
if she had said that word instead, especially since she wasn't really that good
at pronouncing her F's yet. She could
have easily pulled it off as “truck.” So, after that little mishap, I've
decided that my New Year's resolution would be to quit cursing cold turkey.
Nicole swears that I won't be able to last longer than a week, so we made a
little bet. If I lose I have to go to the Taylor Swift concert with
her. If I win, well let's just say it’s “inappropriate” to say what's at stake
in this letter, but that box from Santa sitting under the tree from Victoria's
Secret has something to do with it. And you all know how I hate to lose!
As far as Nicole and I go, I am still just as in love
with her as I was on the day that I married her. Yeah, we still get into some
knock down drag out fights but that's what keeps it so exciting, not to mention
the makeup sex. I know that everything will never be “perfect.”
Both Ryan and Ella will have their fair
share of screw up’s, growing up and Nicole and I won’t always see eye to eye. But
my wife and kids are my definition of perfect and always will be.
Well, I have to get going. My mom is here visiting with her
“man friend” and my dad and his wife are coming over for Christmas Eve. Nicole
is nervous as hell about all of them being together. Me, I could care less, I think it will actually
be entertaining! Jack and Kitty O’Maley
have been known to go a whole twelve rounds with neither one backing down. Ryan
has both sets of boxing gloves out and ready to go!
Happy Christmas and New Year to you and yours! I hope Santa is good to everyone and wish me
luck in keeping that resolution!
Love,
Dailan O’Maley
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