Blog tour: If You leave by Courtney Cole

Synopsis

26-year old Gabriel Vincent is a badass hero. Or he used to be, anyway. As an ex-Army Ranger, Gabe never thought he needed anyone. But after one horrible night in Afghanistan scars him in a way that he can't get past, he needs someone who can help him heal...even if he doesn't realize it.

25-year old Madison Hill doesn't need anybody...or so she thinks. She grew up watching her parents' messed-up abusive relationship and she knows there's no way in hell that she's ever letting that happen to her.

They don't know it in the beginning, but Gabriel and Madison will soon develop a weakness: Each other.

But Gabriel's got a secret, a hidden monster that he's afraid Maddy could never overcome... And Maddy's got issues that she's afraid Gabe will never understand. They quickly realize that they need each other to be whole, but at the same time they know that they've got demons to fight.

And the problem with demons is that they never die quietly.

5 star review by Jennifer Skewes

The bad thing caught you

We first met Maddy in the first book in this series, If You stay.  Ever since Maddy and Mila's parents died, Maddy has been taking care of Mila and the family business.  It has been just the two of them and as the older sister, Maddy felt she needed to take care of everything and let Mila live her life.  But for the past few years since losing her parents she has been living her parent's dream and not necessarily the life that she wanted.  When her parents died she gave up her dream of becoming a model to come home and take care of her family's restaurant.  She has been living day to day trying to run the family restaurant and look out for her sister. She lost that spark that she used to have.  One night she decides to go out with her best friend Jacey who has been wanting her to meet her brother for the longest time.  But while at the club, Maddy needs a little break and goes outside for some air.  That is when she sees him, leaning against the wall.  She has no idea who he is at the time but all she knows is that she is drawn to him in ways she cannot explain.  Little does she know that this guy that she is drawn to, the one she plans on having a one night stand with, will change her life, and capture her heart.

Gabe is an ex Army Ranger who has been through hell and back while over in Afghanistan.  What he saw there is forever embedded in his brain and has completely damaged him, to the point that he decides to retire and come home.  Gabe has been carrying the guilt of what happened that night in Afghanistan and has not been able to get past it.  Gabe is sexy and arrogant and cocky but he also has this vulnerable side to him.  He is tortured from what he saw and between the guilt, the anxiety, the fear and the nightmares that continue to haunt him, he finds moving on and enjoying life to be a difficult task.  He needs to heal, but refuses to go through treatment.  When he meets Maddy things begin to change.  He wants her in ways he has never really wanted anyone.  There is this magnetic pull between the two of them and the chemistry is explosive.  But they are both damaged in their own way and while the attraction between them is evident, at some point it becomes more than just a physical attraction.  Their feelings for each other run deeper than that, there is this need that they have for each other, which scares the heck out of both of them. 

"I don't deserve you.  That much is true.  But all I want is you.  And if I can't have you, then I don't want anyone."

Maddy has issues that deal with both trust and loss.   She has this wall up around her heart that no one can break through, until she meets Gabe.  Growing up she saw a side to her father that no one else saw, one that she even tried to protect Mila from.  Maddy is trying to move forward and not let the past have an affect on her present and her future, but it's not as easy as she thinks.  She wants what her sister Mila and Pax have but is afraid to open herself up to someone.  She doesn't want to "need" someone, but finds herself needing Gabe.  She is a very strong and independent woman, but when she is with Gabe she finds that she can't control the feelings that she has for him.  But Gabe has his own issues and is afraid that he will hurt Maddy.  He has nightmares and the person that he becomes in those moments is scary and not him.  But he has no control over it.  As much as he wants to be with Maddy he has to let go of the past and the guilt.  He needs to heal himself before he can have any future with Maddy.  Will Gabe decide that he wants and loves Maddy enough to heal himself and fight for her?

"Don't hate me, Maddy.  I can deal with anything else the world throws at me, bit I can't deal with that.  I love you.  I've known it for a while and I was afraid to say it."

I loved Maddy and Gabe together.  Everything that Gabe went through and the guilt he has been carrying ever since, broke my heart.  Courtney Cole did an amazing job with Gabe's story and how he deals with PTSD.  His feelings, his emotions and the nightmares he went through were so real and raw and intense.  This story sucked me in form the very beginning and was one that I did not want to put down.  Maddy and Gabe had a lot of issues that they both needed to face and work through before they could have a future together.  And I loved that Maddy was strong ans stayed true to herself and made Gabe work for it.  I loved how Gabe was there for her when it counted and how much he needed and wanted to heal not only for himself but for his future.  Their relationship started out as an intense physical attraction that lead to a love and need for each other that was so intense and scary for the both of them.  I loved that we got to see Mila and Pax and their HEA continue.  I loved Jacey and cannot wait for her story.  But the one supporting character that I fell in love with was Brand and would love to see him get his own story and a happily ever after that he deserves.  He was an amazing friend to Gabe and was there when he needed him.  If You Leave is a beautiful, heart wrenching story that deals with deep and sensitive issues such as PTSD, abuse and loss.  It is about two people who are trying to break free from their past and find the happiness they deserve.  An amazing job by Ms. Cole!

About the author

Courtney Cole is a novelist who would eat mythology for breakfast if she could. She has a degree in Business, but has since discovered that corporate America is not nearly as fun to live in as fictional worlds. She loves chocolate and roller coasters and hates waiting and rude people.

Courtney lives in quiet suburbia, close to Lake Michigan, with her real-life Prince Charming, her ornery kids (there is a small chance that they get their orneriness from their mother) and a small domestic zoo.

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