They say karma is a bitch.
And I'd agree--I had lived it.
I had an affair with a married man...who also happened to be my professor. I couldn't stop it, couldn't control it. The only problem was that, I, of course, wanted more, and he couldn't give it to me.
Life moved on, I thought I'd moved on, but karma came back and destroyed it all.
My husband fell in love with his secretary, and I was left trying to figure out if love was even real.
I wanted to believe it was. I was almost positive I never stopped loving the one man I couldn't have. But...what if I could have him? What if he wasn't as off-limits as I had thought?
4.5 Stars by Lisa Kane
I'm not sure what I expected when I read the blurb for this book, I just knew that the angst slut in me was intrigued and I couldn't not read it. Now cheating is tough for me to read about, but I have to say, that there are circumstances surrounding the main character's marriage that made it somewhat easier to take, but you be the judge of that.
Alexandria Wilson thought she had it all- a good marriage, a great job, a cute dog and then it all ended a month ago when she found out her husband, Caleb, was in love with another woman.
When I walked in on Caleb fucking his secretary on his desk, I couldn’t really be angry. It had apparently been going on for six months and I had been none the wiser. I guess that’s what happens when you say “I love you” and you aren’t actually in love, if love even exists.
For the last five years she was living a life within a life. Her husband was not the love of her life but she was comfortable in their relationship. She doesn't even blame him for the affair. He is in love with the other woman and she makes him happy. Alex settled for Caleb and part of her feels guilty about that.
I was only twenty-six and was getting divorced and living with my sister. It wasn’t what I had planned for my life at all.
She is running an errand for work-delivering some papers to a law firm as a favor for her boss. It's no hardship; the firm is also handling her divorce when she sees the one man she never thought she would see again.
Slowly, I turned, coming face to face with the man I thought I had once loved. The man who ripped my heart out and walked all over it. “Javier.” “Oh my God,” he said, coming closer and I took a step back. He still looked sexy as hell, maybe a little older, tired. “How are you?”
My body began to tremble and my sex clenched a little. “I’m great.” I hated that my body was starting to react his closeness. I needed to get away from him. Fast. The elevator arrived and the doors slid open. “I have to go, but it was great seeing you.” I said, stepping inside and turning to face him. He was so damn sexy.
What do you say to the man who shattered you; leaving you broken and in little pieces?
A good portion of this book is spent in flashbacks. How Alex met Javier. How they came together and what they meant to each other. How Alex, against her better judgement, let herself love him with her whole heart; believing that he loved her in the same way. That is right up until he broke her heart and left her devastated.
He looked at the floor a beat, then at me. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this. I thought I could…I wish I could, but I can’t.”
How could she be so stupid to trade her dreams for a life of secrecy? How could she let herself believe that he wasn't a player, that he really loved her? She forced herself to move on, but she never gave her heart away again.
He had been married during our relationship and never intended to divorce his wife. I should have guarded my heart better, never acted on my feelings for him, but I had. I hadn’t thought, just felt, and it left me shattered. That’s why karma was such a bitch.
But it's five years later and things are very different in Javier's life. This man who I despised just may have not been the monster I thought he was. He is determined to win Alex back and to explain what happened and why he did the things he did.
“I, uh…I haven’t seen you in years.” She arched an eyebrow. “And?” I scrubbed my hand over my face. “You look great. Still as beautiful as ever.” Alexandria tilted her head to the side. “What are you doing?” She hadn’t lost her attitude over the years. I smiled. “Trying to talk to you.” “You want to talk to me? What could we possibly have to say to each other?” she said indignantly, a scowl on her face.
Winning her back is not going to be easy. Should she let herself forget what he did to her, she has plenty of her friends and her sister to remind her. But the hold that Javier always had over her is still there and she can try and fight it, but will she win that battle? Does she even want to?
Almost five years later and I could still vividly remember watching Alexandria kiss him. I was in the student union, ordering my lunch, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. His arm was slung around her shoulder as they stood in another line, and he looked down at her with lust in his eyes as she reached up and kissed him. It had only been a peck, but it was enough for me to know she had moved on. I had wanted that, wanted her to be happy, but it still fucking killed me.
Lessons of the Past is about finding the great love of your life, even if he belongs to someone else. It's about redemption and forgiveness and second chances. Sometimes, in spite of all the evidence to the contrary, your heart knows the truth even if your head tells you differently.
Because if one thing was true, it was that Alexandria Wilson was the love of my life. I couldn’t, wouldn’t let her go again. I’d figure out a way to get her back. I didn’t have any other option.
“I missed my chance getting you back last time. This time, I wasn’t going to take that chance.”
Yes, karma is definitely a bitch. A vengeful bitch.
A month ago, I was happily married...well, I was married. Caleb and I had what everyone wanted on the outside: good jobs, a beautiful home, even a cute little dog named Buster. But on the inside, we were just existing together, not actually living and enjoying life as a couple.
When I walked in on Caleb fucking his secretary on his desk, I couldn’t really be angry. It had apparently been going on for six months and I had been none the wiser. I guess that’s what happens when you say “I love you” and you aren’t actually in love, if love even exists.
I had once thought I was in love with someone, but maybe it was just lust. I had been ready to give him every little part of me, but he couldn’t reciprocate. He had been married during our relationship and never intended to divorce his wife. I should have guarded my heart better, never acted on my feelings for him, but I had. I hadn’t thought, just felt, and it left me shattered.
That’s why karma was such a bitch.
You fuck someone’s husband and someone will eventually fuck yours. Or, at least, that was my case.
Trudging into work, I gripped my coffee in one hand and typed out an email with the other, using my phone. Work usually started as soon as I woke up and followed me home each night. It worked well for me, during my marriage, and now, during my separation. I loved the fact that I was always busy.
Setting my coffee down on my desk, I rolled my eyes and smiled as I heard, “Alex!”
I took a deep breath and walked into my boss’s office. “Yes, Mr. Bradford?”
He greeted me with a warm, genuine smile. “As you know, I have a meeting all morning. Around ten, could you go down to Raymond and Raymond on the twelfth floor and pick up some documents for me? I told them to be expecting you. I hope that’s okay since it’s of a personal nature.”
“That’s fine. Anything you need before the meeting? Coffee?” I asked. Mr. Bradford was a good guy, and easy to work for considering most of the executives were complete assholes. He had allowed me extra time off while I was visiting with my lawyer about my impending divorce and seemed to actually care about me as a person.
“Coffee would be great. Thank you.”
I nodded and exited his office. “Alex! You have to come with us this weekend,”
Jessica yelled from her cubicle. “You’re one of us now.” She grinned.
I smiled back. “Nothing is final, so not yet,” I said, stopping in front of her. As was their ritual, Jessica and a few other single girls from the office went out every Friday night for drinks, but the thought of clubbing sounded awful. Jessica had been asking me for the last two weeks to come with them—since she found out about my divorce—but all I wanted to do was eat popcorn and ice cream while watching Netflix.
“Is the asshole making it difficult?”
Jessica and I had been friends for a couple years, so I didn’t mind elaborating on my divorce. “No, not really. He feels bad about the situation.” I sighed. “He still cares about me, and I still care about him, but I’m really not that upset. He loves her, and I think that’s great that she makes him happy. Obviously, I couldn’t do that.”
Jessica nodded. “I’m sorry. I’m sure it still hurts.”
I sighed. “Yeah, it still does.” But it wasn’t necessarily Caleb and the divorce. Or his affair. I couldn’t exactly blame him for falling for someone who would actually love him back. I was more upset about the mess I’d made out of my life. It hurt so much when I actually thought about where I was, and where I thought I should be. At twenty-six, I was getting divorced and living with my sister—it wasn’t what I had planned for my life at all.
“Jessica!” boomed from the office behind her. She rolled her eyes and stood. “Well, you’re still coming this weekend. It’s just drinks and some innocent flirting.”
I nodded, but it was more so Jessica would stop asking, and headed toward the breakroom as she went into her boss’s office. Pushing the door open, I found Mason Smith leaning against the counter, sipping coffee.
His eyes lifted to meet mine. “Morning, Alex. How are you?”
“Good, thanks. You?” I asked, walking toward the coffee pot. Mason was a very attractive man with dark green eyes and light brown hair that always looked like he had just crawled out of bed.
“I can’t complain. I mean, I’m standing here talking to you.” He smirked.
I couldn’t help the small giggle that bubbled out. “That’s slick. Does that usually work with the ladies?” Mason wasn’t a whore by any means, but I was positive he didn’t spend many nights alone.
“Sometimes. Did it work now?”
Shaking my head and pouring the coffee, I replied, “No. Sorry. But it could just be my current mood.”
“Yeah, I heard. I’m sorry.”
I paused, setting the carafe down. I hated knowing my marital problems were now office gossip. It was one thing for me to tell my friends, but it was another for every single co-worker to know.
“That’s okay.” I hurried and filled the mug, placing the pot back in place.
Mason stepped closer and pushed a piece of hair behind my ear. “For what it’s worth, he’s really stupid. Anyone who would do that to you isn’t worth keeping anyway.”
I nodded, picked up the mug, and exited the breakroom, almost running.
After delivering Mr. Bradford’s coffee, I sat down in my chair and got busy. I checked my voicemail first, then began going through the paperwork sitting on my desk.
I finished off my java, then looked at my watch. It was nine fifty-five. After saving all my work and logging off my computer, I strolled to the elevator, lost in thought, and went down to the twelfth floor where Raymond and Raymond was located.
I walked up to the receptionist’s desk and greeted the older lady. “Hi, Holly. Mr. Bradford asked me to pick up some paperwork for him.”
“Hi, Alex,” she greeted, knowing me for the last couple years, and because Raymond and Raymond was handling my divorce. “Let me go grab it. Just a minute.”
“No problem,” I answered. I backed up to a chair and sank down with a sigh. I was so tired and drained, I felt like I could nap for two days straight if I was given the opportunity.
“Here you go, Alex,” Holly announced as she walked back to her desk.
“Thanks,” I said, taking the sealed envelope. “You wouldn’t happen to know if Mr. Crawford has a date for me or anything?” I questioned, regarding my divorce.
She smiled sweetly. “I can certainly call back to his office and ask.”
“Thanks. That would be great.”
She picked up her phone and connected to Mr. Crawford. After a minute, she set the phone back in its place. “He doesn’t, I’m sorry.”
“That’s okay.” I got up. “I better get back to work. Have a great day.”
“You, too,” she said as I let the door swing shut behind me.
Pressing the down button on the outside panel for the elevator, I heard, “Alexandria? Is that you?” The voice was familiar, raspy. I froze as my heart stopped, then accelerated. The open floor plan suddenly felt too small, claustrophobic, the walls caving in.
Slowly, I turned, coming face to face with the man I thought I had once loved. The man who ripped my heart out and walked all over it.
“Javier.”
“Oh my God,” he said, coming closer, and I took a step back. He still looked sexy as hell, maybe a little older, tired. “How are you?”
My body began to tremble and my sex clenched a little. “I’m great.” I hated that my body was reacting to his closeness. I needed to get away from him. Fast. The elevator arrived and the doors slid open. “I have to go, but it was great seeing you,” I said, stepping inside and turning to face him. He was so damn sexy.
Chloe Maxx was born and raised in rural Oklahoma. She now resides in a small town not far from where she grew up with her husband and two boys. She loves being outdoors, the salty smell of the ocean, relaxing ocean waves, caffeine, and reading any book that has a little romance.
Lessons of the Past is Chloe’s debut erotic romance.
No comments:
Post a Comment