Claire Ross has never been good enough. Not for the girls in the elite group of dancers in her class and certainly not for the approval of her ballet teacher, Mr. Robins. She definitely doesn’t like what she sees in the mirror. Simply put, she doesn’t love herself, so how could she possibly love someone else?
After twelve years of friendship, Sebastian Reyes’ adoring gaze holds more. They soon find themselves unable to control their feelings for one another.
When tragedy strikes, Claire finds herself in a very unlikely and unfavorable position. Regardless of the weight of the emotion, she must make difficult decisions that impact the rest of her life.
Will Claire see that her true love has been right in front of her? Happily ever after isn’t just for fairy tales. To get hers, all she has to do is trust, open her heart and fall.
5 Stars
Review by Jen Skewes
Wow! Just wow! Those were the words that fell out of my mouth after reading the final words of this amazing story. I was completely amazed and completely hungover from this book. From the moment I started reading it, I did not want to put it down. I was a beautiful, emotional and touching story about second chances, fate and learning to love yourself. JB McGee managed to completely break my heart with Heartfall but in the end she put it all back together again.
Heartfall is the story of Claire, a girl who for the past 15 years has worked so hard to get where she is today. Her dream since only 4 years old, is to be a ballet dancer. The journey from the time she was four until now has not been an easy one at all. Claire has never seen herself as the beautiful ballerina. And maybe that has a lot to do with the bullying that she has had to deal with over the years or that her ballet teacher always made her feel anything but beautiful. She never felt like she was the best at what she did. And honestly if it wasn’t for certain people in her life like Sebastian, The Reyes', Liam and even her mother at times, I am not sure she would have ever looked in the mirror and seen a beautiful person staring back at her.
I loved Claire and I think she is a character that so many people (girls and women) can relate to on so many levels. Her feelings and insecurities were just so real and so raw that I felt it all too. I went through the pain and the hurt with her. I wanted to see her shine and realize just how beautiful she really was, that she was so much better than the “mean girls” and not just in ballet. I know what it is like to look in the mirror and see all of your imperfections. And when you have people like the mean girls who just make it that much worse you become this person who doesn’t believe in themself. And that is what Claire has gone through for a majority of her life.
She has had a few people by her side, specifically Sebastian and Liam. I am not going to tell you the role that either one of them played but they were both amazing people. Sebastion and Liam both saw Claire as so much more than what she saw. They saw the physical beauty but also the beauty within. Sebastian is the childhood friend who made her feel beautiful and loved and cherished. Liam is the guy who helped her to heal and believe in herself again. They were both so different but yet both played such important roles in Claire’s life. I loved them both and was so happy that she found them and they were a part of her life.
Sebastian
turns on the stereo. It’s an instrumental piece, but I know it, and it’s not
classical. “This is The Civil Wars.”
“The Violet Hour.”
“Why
did you pick this? It’s one thing for Robins to ruin classical music by playing
it on repeat because I don’t really like classical music, but I freakin’ love
The Civil Wars. You’re going to ruin them for me.”
He
pulls a bandana from a drawer and wraps it around my eyes. “What are you
doing?”
“Three
things, Claire. Trust, balance, and timing. Listen to the music. Feel the beat.
Do you feel it?”
I
nod, swallowing. I swear my heart starts to beat to the rhythm. It reminds me
of some kind of sea song, of something that would be played at a harbor, of
ship horns as they’re passing by in the night. It’s ominous and dark. The
opposite of the brightness that has been shining through the windows prior to
him covering my eyes. Something about it moves me, and I want to dance, but I
don’t know the area, how much room I have.
“Count
it out loud, Claire.”
“One,
two, three. Four, five, six.” My voice sounds much too breathy. “One, two,
three. Four, five, six.”
He
reaches down and takes my hand. “You trust me, right?”
I
nod. “We established that,” I mutter. “I survived the Ferris wheel.”
He
chuckles. “Trust is key, but so is balance. In lifts and turns, if either of us
is off, one or both of us could fall. We could get hurt.” He squeezes my
fingers. “They go hand in hand in order to keep us safe. Got it?”
“Uh
huh.”
“Remember
the trust exercise when you fell and I kissed you?”
How
could I ever forget? I bring my other hand to my lips and caress them.
He
removes it. “Pay attention.”
Sebastian
is serious in his studio. “Yes, I remember, but you’re the one who brought up
the kissing and distracted me.”
“The
trust exercise. Remember the trust exercise?”
“Yes.”
“If
you lose your balance, don’t try to catch yourself. Let me do it for you.”
“If
I lose my balance, and you catch me, does it include a kiss?”
Is
he not interested in me anymore? Was he just being sweet to get what he wanted,
which was me as his little student? But I’m not in a position to walk away.
Even if I wasn’t craving his hands all over my body after less than twenty-four
hours, what has me stuck in his grasps, literally, is the stupid deal we made
in his Jeep. The promise of training me and the hope of being good enough for a
scholarship. “Claire!”
I
shake my head, frustrated that I allowed myself to lose concentration that
fast. “Sorry. It won’t happen again.”
“Focus
on the music. Feel it.” I’m feeling it all right. I’m already starting to have
a love hate relationship with The Violet
Hour. I may rename it The Violet Eternity. “Now pirouette.”
I
do as I’m told, and when I feel my balance shift and start to shift my weight,
his breathing, the music, and his hand remind me to let him do it for me. He
makes a slight adjustment and I’m back to where I need to be. We continue for a
couple more rotations. “That’s enough,” he says. So, I stop.
Having
no idea where he is in proximity to me, I wait for his next move. Hands are on
my hips. “This is where I have the most control over your body.” He lifts me
slowly and lowers me. “Go up.” Once again, I do as I’m told. He moves my body
to the left in perfect syncopation of the music. My neck is exposed, and I feel
air from what I assume is a vent above my head. Chills erupt over my body as
Sebastian’s lips plant a soft kiss on my dewy skin.
“Oh.”
He
straightens me, then leans me the other side as The Violet Hour loops on repeat, suddenly becoming my favorite
song. He repeats the kiss on the other side of my neck. His hands tighten
around my waist as he straightens me and turns me, pulling me flush against his
body, and snatches the blindfold from my eyes. His green orbs stare back at me
with a vibrancy I’ve never seen before. “This is our song.” He kisses me. It’s
short, but it’s intense like everything else in this room has been. Like this
kiss means so much more than the others he’s given me.
“Okay.”
“It’s
reminded me of you since the first time I heard it. I’m not sure why.”
“I’m
not sure if that’s a compliment. It’s dreary and sad.”
He
shakes his head, lifts, spins, and then puts me down on my feet. This is the
most carefree I’ve seen Sebastian since we got here. “I mean, it is all of
those things, but deep down beneath the dreary and sadness, there’s hope and
this rare, simple, and exquisite beauty.” He dances around me to the music, and
I find myself following his lead. “It’s like it’s at war with itself. And I
think you’re at war with yourself.” He kisses my nose. “Because I think you
know you’re beautiful deep down, but people have buried you with so many
hateful words that you’re lost beneath them.”
“So,
why is this our song? Sounds like it’s more my song.”
He
shrugs. “Because I think us dancing together is going to be what leads you from
the darkness back into the light. And this is the song we’re going to dance to.
Every time you hear it or anything by The Civil Wars, you’re going to think
about being at war with yourself and about rare, simple, exquisite beauty. And
dancing with me.”
“That’s
deep.”
“And
romantic.” He’s grinning like a fool, and I know I am too. He’s right. It is
romantic. I’ll forever love The Violet
Hour and The Civil Wars. And maybe one day, I’ll love me.
“You just let me jab my tongue down your fuckin’ throat. Now answer the question.”
“I can’t.”
“You can’t answer it or you can’t trust me?”
Maybe both. I wish he’d let me fix my shirt. “It’s complicated.”
“No, it’s not.”
He’s stubborn too. A match made in heaven. Great. “I trust you or I wouldn’t be here.”
“Progress. Good. I trust you or you wouldn’t be here, either. I want to do more than just play your music, Claire. I’ve wanted to do more than that from the moment I saw you, and I’ve never wanted that with any girl at that school before. So, do I wanna play with the ice? Fuck yeah. You have no idea the things I wanna do to you and your pretty little dancer body.” He smirks. “Am I allowed to say that? Use pretty in other contexts where you’re concerned? Or is the word pretty a hard limit in its entirety?” My arms cross over my chest because never have I felt so exposed, so vulnerable, yet so sexy and wanted. “Quit tryin’ to cover yourself up, dammit. You’re beautiful. Don’t you believe that?”
I shake my head. “Pretty in other contexts is fine, just not pretty girl.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
It was my hope to avoid it. “What question?” He’s already figured out I’m a terrible liar, so I’m sure this won’t go over very well.
He cocks his head and takes a step closer, which I didn’t know was possible. “I don’t really get off on whips and chains, riding crops, that kind of stuff. I’m not into hardcore BDSM. I just dabble from time to time when the mood or the need hits me.” I’m pretty sure my eyes are about to detach from my head. What. The. Hell. Have. I. Gotten. Myself. Into? “But I do love to spank. Don’t play games.”
When I was five years old I wanted to be a ballerina, so my mom signed me up for dance. Over the next ten years, I explored all three styles: tap, jazz, and ballet. Tap ended up being my favorite, and I studied it for ten years, ballet for four, and jazz for one.
The years I took ballet, I was told to grow my bangs out, to wear my hair in a bun because that’s what ballerinas do. When I ate my snacks from the convenience store because that’s what my single mom bought me after school on her way to drop me off at the studio, I was ridiculed and told if I lost just a few pounds, I’d be the perfect size for a ballerina. I was in elementary school. Looking back at those pictures, I wasn’t fat. Not even close. After my entire class was promoted to pointe and I wasn’t, I quit ballet.
While this story is fiction, there is a lot of me in Claire, but it only takes a few minutes to read the trending headlines to see that this happens to a widespread audience every day. I think there is a lot of every girl in Claire.
Do you like every part of yourself when you look in the mirror? Or did someone, society, make you feel if you lost just a little bit more weight or changed a small part of who you were, you’d be better in their eyes? And then after so long you found you didn’t like the person you saw through your own eyes, didn’t even recognize her?
Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think so.
When I started this book, that’s not the message I’d hoped to spread or share, but that’s what it ended up being. Like all of my other books, Claire’s story was cathartic for me because it helped me release a part of my past I didn’t realize I’d been hanging onto so tightly. As much as I loved dance, those years in the studio damaged me. But on the contrary, each day in the studio, each mean girl, each hurtful comment, they took an oyster and produced a pearl. A one-of-a-kind, oddly shaped, uniquely colored, and beautiful pearl.
Every day since writing Heartfall I’ve tried so hard to look in the mirror and find something I like about myself or to ignore something I’d ordinarily criticize, and I challenge you to do the same.
We’re all beautiful and strong women. This is Claire’s story on finding her beauty and strength. Along the way, she’s blessed to find incredible love too. I hope you enjoy it.
J.B. McGee was born and raised in Aiken, South Carolina. She is the mother of two beautiful children and a stay at home mom/entrepreneur. She finished her Bachelor of Arts degree in Early Childhood Education at the University of South Carolina-Aiken in 2006. During her time studying children's literature, a professor had encouraged her to become a writer.
In 2011, it was discovered that both of her children, she, and her husband have Mitochondrial Disease, a disease that has no cure or treatments. Being a writer allows J.B. to remain close to her family, work on raising awareness for this disease, and to lose herself in the stories that she creates for her readers.
J.B. McGee and her family now reside in Buford, Georgia. She is an Amazon Top 100 bestselling author of her debut series, the 'THIS' Series.
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