Synopsis
All she wanted was a friend---one that knew her and not her circumstances. She needed somewhere to call home. Hers was an open door for countless men looking for the services her mother offered them. She camouflaged herself against lockers and blackboards to avoid the stares and whispers at school.
And then she found Cal...and Fade.
Cal lives like Frankenstein, rising at night to work and just trying to make it until dawn. He avoids most relationships, afraid of the things he will be asked to do. He moonlights as Fade, a radio station DJ who spends hours counseling his peers on their troubles. It was all mundane until Jocelyn called the station.
Cal and Havok pursue a friendship.
Jocelyn and Fade pursue a relationship beyond the confines of the radio waves.
But when Havok disappears, Cal will find that Havok has been guarding a lifetime worth of secrets. And when Fade and Jocelyn’s all night phone conversations cease, he finds a link between them he never saw coming.
5 star review by Jen Skewes
I quickly became a big Lila Felix fan after reading Love and Skate. I always look forward to reading her books and I swear that they just keep getting better and better. Dare I say that this may be her best one yet. Lila continues to write these amazing stories with characters that you just fall in love with. And Seeking Havok was no different.
I loved Havok. Honestly I love all of the female characters in Lila's books but there is just something about Havok. She is so sweet and caring and you just want to hug her for all that she has been through. Her childhood has been anything but easy. She has been the one to take care of her mother, and no I'm not talking taking care of your mother because she is too sick to do it herself. I am talking about taking care of a mother who cares more about getting her next fix then her own daughter. A mother who has no issues with kicking her daughter out for the night while she entertains men to help pay the bills. And no matter how much her mother disappoints her and how bad of a mother she is, she is still Havok's mother. And being the caring person she is, Havok loves her and takes care of her. Their roles are basically reversed. Havok takes care of her mom and the house. When her mom tells her to leave for the night she does. If it wasn't for the kindness of the people around her, Havok would be living on the streets. Then she meets Cal and Havok begins to see what it means to really love and care about someone.
Cal is, in one word amazing! He moonlights as radio DJ Fade at night. When he is not on the radio he spends most of the time sleeping, keeping to himself or hanging our with his best friend Jett. He doesn't really have time for relationships or anything else. But that all changes when he meets Havok. When he sees her for the first time there is just something about her. He finds himself completely drawn to her. They start a friendship which is something that Cal doesn't necessarily want but he can see that Havok has this wall up and breaking it down won't be easy. So if friends for now is all he can get he will accept it. Havok loves spending time with Cal and in a way keeps their friendship to herself. He is the one thing in her life right now that is happy and she doesn't want to share that with anyone. Havok finds herself falling for Cal but those feelings is what scares her. She is afraid that once he finds out about her mother and her home life that she will lose him. When Cal realizes that they are connected in another way that neither one of them expected, he is not sure when or how to tell Havok. When their connection is revealed and secrets come out will it ruin what they have together?
"Yes for once I want something to myself. I want something that's mine and no one else's. I don't want to explain us to anyone. I don't want to talk about you to anyone because-I'm afraid they'd steal you away."
I can't begin to tell you how much I loved this story. Cal/Fade is the guy that every man should be and every woman wants. He knew from the minute he saw Havok that he wanted to get to know her, that she was worth making time in his busy schedule for. He cared for her in ways that she wasn't used to. He wanted to take care of her and protect her. He slowly broke down her walls and let him into her heart. And in the end Cal does something that will completely blow you away. It shows how amazing and selfless he really is. I shed some tears through out this book but it was this moment in the book where the waterworks were turned on. It made me fall in love with Cal/Fade even more. He was an amazing hero and just as a side note I think he is my new favorite out of all the men in Lila's books-yes taking Falcon's spot.
"I know. And I couldn't be more honored. I got your first date and your first kiss. And you already give me the world when you look at me the way you're looking at me now."
Havok and Fade were perfect together. You could feel the chemistry and love between the two of them. Cal wanted what was best for Havok even if that meant he had to make sacrifices. Havok spent so much of her life taking care of the one person who should have been taking care of Havok. And all though she was strong and independent and managed just fine on her own, deep down she was broken. It was Havok's time to be loved, to break free from her mother and find herself. And I love that Cal was one of the people that was there to help her along the way. Her best friend Ali and her family were an wonderful addition to this story. They took Havok in and made her feel like part of the family, loved her they way she deserved to be loved.
Seeking Havok still has that humor and wittiness about it that I love in Lila's books but it also deals with a few deeper issues that we aren't used to seeing from this author. Issues that she did an amazing job with. Seeking Havok will make you laugh, cry, and keep you on the edge of your seat. There was a moment that completely shocked me and I never saw coming. You will fall in love with Cal and Havok and love every minute of their journey together. It wasn't an easy one but it is one that will leave you smiling with happy tears in the end. Lila completely hit this one out of the park. Such an amazing read!
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