Title: Resentment
Author: Nicole London
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Release Date: October 29, 2015
Blurb
Re•sent•ment (noun)
The act of hating – no, fucking loathing Dean Collins. (Yes, I’m well aware that’s not the actual definition, but it might as well be...)
It’s been ten years since we've seen each other and the feelings are still as strong.
I’m not going to bore you with all the details of how our love was once intoxicating, consuming, and perfect.
Because it was . . . until it wasn't.
I've been fine without him. I haven’t missed his cruelty, his coldness and his spite.
And after the ugliest breakup in the history of breakups, I forced myself to move on.
Year by year, the feelings I had for him slowly drifted away, but one encounter with him recently changed everything. One encounter made me realize how the heart doesn't forget shit, and how my mind is going to have to work overtime to make sure I never forget my definition of resentment.
4 Star Review By Lisa Kane
If there's one thing I'll never be able to pack away, it's the utter resentment I have for him in my heart, and I swear to god I will never forget how this moment feels. I will never fu#*ing forget...
Mia Gray was a senior in high school with one goal-graduate and get away from her mother. Her mother graduated from Harvard and is determined Mia will follow in her footsteps. Mia wants to be artist, not the finance major her mother has in mind. Dean Collins is the football god that college recruits are all vying for-they all want a piece of him and if his father has his way, one of them will succeed. His dream is to go to Harvard and get out from under his father's roof.
Dean has wanted Mia since their sophomore year. But she shuts him down at every turn. Now that they are seniors he is ramping up his plans to get her to go out with him. He steals her notebooks, her CD's; anything personal that can tell him about her. He comes up with a story that he needs her to help tutor him. (his marks are as high as hers but he deliberately let a couple slip) Dean is cocky and arrogant and Mia can't help but be attracted to him. When he lets it be known that he has wanted her since the 10th grade things heat up. Her head tells he can't be trusted, but her heart (and her lady bits) all tell her to take a chance for once in her life.
Dean has wanted Mia since their sophomore year. But she shuts him down at every turn. Now that they are seniors he is ramping up his plans to get her to go out with him. He steals her notebooks, her CD's; anything personal that can tell him about her. He comes up with a story that he needs her to help tutor him. (his marks are as high as hers but he deliberately let a couple slip) Dean is cocky and arrogant and Mia can't help but be attracted to him. When he lets it be known that he has wanted her since the 10th grade things heat up. Her head tells he can't be trusted, but her heart (and her lady bits) all tell her to take a chance for once in her life.
Mia is in love with Dean and wants him to be her first lover. He is tender and gentle and she is absolutely under his spell. Things are great until they aren't. Dean starts missing school and when he is with her he is vague and distant. Prom is coming up and Mia keeps asking him if he still wants to take her. And then...(get out your tissues for these scenes..) he breaks her heart into little pieces and I HATED him!
"Because she's my date."
"No." I shake my head. "I was supposed to be your date."
"Yeah, supposed to be." He tilts his head to the side. "Aren't you a literary aficionado.? The word "supposed" is considered past tense, correct?"
"You do mean nothing to me." He looks more distant than I've ever seen him. "Absolutely nothing."
Right after graduation, Mia does a 180 and changes her plans to go to Western Peak College and goes to Harvard instead. She does their international program so there is no chance she will run into Dean there.
Ten years later Mia is recently single; having broken up with her live in lover and is moving to her brother Eric's place in Portland. He escaped from their crazy mother years before Mia graduated. They aren't particularly close, but he wants her to come out and stay at his place. But when she gets there-guess who is Eric's best friend and roommate?
I cannot believe that the guy who broke my heart in high school is sitting across from me and is seemingly friends (good friends) with my brother. Not only that, but I can't believe that he's glaring at me, like I'm the one who hurt him.
Dean reacts just as violently to Mia as she does to him. That confused the hell out of me. Why does this douche bag have hatred for her? It's obvious he blames her for lots of things. The two are enemies and can barely put up with the other. But slowly things from Dean's POV are revealed to the reader.
"Yes," he says. "Yes, I still love you and I always have, regardless of all these years..."
Unfortunately, Dean is not ready to share those things with Mia (really jack ass? After ten years you still aren't ready?) This was the Swiss cheese moment for me-when Dean's story about high school is told it had too many holes in it for my liking. His life sucked- that's for sure-but he blamed Mia for things she would have no knowledge of and couldn't possibly know.
He stares at me, jaw still clenched, but he slowly steps back. "It's not going to be anything. We can be done forever, as far as I'm concerned.
This guy gives me whiplash with the way his mind works. I found myself wondering why he never contacted her all these years and if he would ever have seen her again, if fate didn't step in.
She's the one who hurt me. Not only that, but she didn't even give me a chance to talk to her back then, and now, I try and do the right thing and let everything go and even apologize for the particular moments where I messed up and she brings up all this other shit.
I'm done with her.
Those are the moments in the book where I wanted to drop kick this guy. When he finally comes to his senses and wants a chance to explain, Mia lets him have it with both barrels.
"Can you let me try and get you to see why I felt the way I felt. Can you please let me do that?"
"Yes," I say. "Tomorrow. You can meet me at your favorite bar at seven. I'll show up at the same time that you showed up for me." I look at him one last time and then I walk away.
The ending felt a little rushed to me; I would have loved to have had more closure.
All in all, this was a good read and the writing is very good. I just found it hard to forgive Dean for the havoc and heartbreak he caused and thought Mia deserved more.
"Every moment I spent with you during that fall semester was perfection, and I lie to you not, I've thought about those times every single day over the past ten years."
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Excerpt
“Are you coming to the pep rally tonight?” he asks.
“Probably not.”
“Why?”
“School spirit isn’t really my thing. No offense, but…football isn’t either.”
He laughs, and I suddenly realize that the two of us have never talked about football during our sessions together. In fact, whenever I’ve brought it up, he’s changed the subject to something else.
“Well,” he says, letting my hand go. “You should come for me instead.”
“What? What do you mean?”
“I mean, since you’re not into school spirit or football, but you’re clearly into me, you can make an exception and come tonight.”
“You’re getting quite presumptuous lately.” I put on my best poker face. “Do I need to help you with that definition?”
“Not when I know the true word you’re looking for is cognizant.” He grins, stepping back. “I hope to see you tonight.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“I’m sure you always do.” He gives me a look so sexy that I almost melt into the floor.
“Probably not.”
“Why?”
“School spirit isn’t really my thing. No offense, but…football isn’t either.”
He laughs, and I suddenly realize that the two of us have never talked about football during our sessions together. In fact, whenever I’ve brought it up, he’s changed the subject to something else.
“Well,” he says, letting my hand go. “You should come for me instead.”
“What? What do you mean?”
“I mean, since you’re not into school spirit or football, but you’re clearly into me, you can make an exception and come tonight.”
“You’re getting quite presumptuous lately.” I put on my best poker face. “Do I need to help you with that definition?”
“Not when I know the true word you’re looking for is cognizant.” He grins, stepping back. “I hope to see you tonight.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“I’m sure you always do.” He gives me a look so sexy that I almost melt into the floor.
Goddamn, Dean Collins…
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