Review: Needing to Fall by Ryan Michele

Have you ever sunk inside yourself to a place of darkness so deep you couldn’t see the light? Had no hope? Felt completely alone in a world filled with so many people? 

I have. I’ve lived it, breathed it. 

Why? 

Because life hated me. 

It disliked me from the moment of conception, despised me when I was born, loathed me when I bounced from each foster home, and kicked me in the gut when I watched the one thing that meant everything to me leave. 

For years, I drifted, unable to find my footing, never knowing what the word stable meant. Then a single moment in time rocked me to my core, changing me and making that solid ground I so desperately craved crumble at my feet, causing me to fall farther than I’d ever imagined. 

The darkness of the swirling tornado that is depression captured me, pulling me down to its depths, drowning me, suffocating me, owning me. 

A depth so deep, I didn’t think I’d survive and didn’t care if I did. I only wanted peace. I wanted the pain to disappear. I wanted to be … free. 

Needing to fall into the cyclone of darkness was the only way I could find the light. 

4 stars
Review by Jen Skewes

When I first read the blurb for this one I knew it was a book I needed to read.  Just a warning it does contain some tough topics such as abuse, depression, PTSD and anxiety.  For some people this may be a little too dark for them but this is the exact type of book that catches my interest and that I love.  And Ryan Michele did not disappoint.  She did an amazing job and handled the tough subject matter in a very delicate way.  From the moment that I read the prologue I was glued to my Ipad and did not want to let go.  I was completely sucked in, my heart beating fast and needing to know what happens from there. 

Reign has been through hell and back.  Growing up in foster homes and being treated in a way that no one should be treated.  You get a taste of what she had been through from the prologue alone and it will break your heart.   It is a few years later and Reign has finally escaped hell and is living on her own.  But I am not really sure you can call it living.  The nightmares, the fears and insecurities all because of her past still haunt her every day.  But it is when she finds out some very shocking news about the one boy she loved that completely causes her to spiral into a very dark, dark world.  When her best friend finds her in a very bad way she has her committed to a mental hospital.  Reign is furious but has no choice to go.  This is the beginning of her journey to recovery, to finding herself, to believing in herself and to getting better. 

When Reign first meets Lynx she is not sure what to make of him.  He too has his own past and demons to fight.  But this is not his first experience in this place and the reasons why he is put with Reign is very understandable.  During their time together they build this bond of friendship, if you will.  He becomes someone that Reign can trust and lean on for comfort and safety.  But at some point their time ends and Reign must go back to the real world and start the next part of her journey.  Will Lynx keep his promise and be there with her every step of the way?

This is really a beautiful and emotional book.   This is a book about healing, friendship and yes also love and romance.  Reign must be able to face it all head on in order to be able move past it all.  And I just loved the strength that she shows in doing this is.  And trust me everything that she had to face would be enough to turn anyone away and want to just run and hide.  But she knew that she needed to finally come to turns with it all, to be able to get the closure she needed in order to live a meaningful life, one that does not include the pain of her past.  I felt for this girl so much and wanted to see her live a wonderful life and be happy.  I wanted to see her have a family and the love that she deserved from the people around her. 

Lynx was such an amazing hero.  It was as if fate had intervened and sent him to Reign because he was the positivity that she needed in her life.  He was everything.  He was kind, sweet, understanding and very patient with her.  He understood her so well and just wanted to be there with her. 

In the process they both found a love that I don’t think either one of them expected.  And that is what is so great about this story.  They were both broken in their own way and for their own reasons.  But while Lynx had been on his way to healing, Reign had just started that process.  But together they began to slowly heal and with Lync by her side she put her demons in the past where she belonged.  The ending was just perfect.  I think my only issue was at times it seemed to drag just a bit but overall what an absolutely beautiful story.