What do I love about Jay Crownover’s books, aside from the amazing writing, and characters? I love how flawed her characters are. Let’s face it, most of us read romance/love stories for the HEA and the desire to go to La-La Land, but every once in a while, La-La Land needs a dose of reality and that’s what Jay gives us. She shows us that happily ever after doesn’t mean the characters ride off into the sunset hand-in-hand and live perfect lives. They may ride off into the sunset hand-in-hand, but they encounter bumps and bruises along the way. Sometimes major ones. Her characters are not just flawed, but beautifully so. Such is the case with Hyde and Remy who are the offspring of characters from her Saints of Denver and Marked men series, respectfully. While their parents’ stories may have ended happily, the lives of their children have been challenging, especially for Rome’s and Cora’s daughter Remy.
Growing up Remy was obsessed with Hyde Fuller, on both a romantic and friend level. When her obsessive behavior leads to almost fatal results her mother encourages Hyde to move on and move away from her daughter which leads Remy to be heartbroken by Hyde’s sudden departure from her life. Diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) shortly after Hyde leaves, Remy spends the next eight years putting her life back together. She leaves home and lives from place to place before returning home shortly before Hyde does. She returns not as a better version of herself, but as a version who better understands herself. Now she has to decide if this version was meant for Hyde.
It had taken a long time, and the road was often dark and treacherous, but I found my way home…And so had the prodigal son.
Hyde Fuller left home to find himself, leaving behind heartbroken parents, and a love-stricken Remy Archer. Eight years have passed, and Hyde is returning home, but he’s not alone. He is now the single father of baby girl whose life is almost mirroring his as a child. He is returning home to the welcoming arms of his parents and friends, the arms he’d like more than anything to return to are those of Remy’s but leaving Remy the way he did, broken and without a goodbye doesn’t make him someone Remy is eager to reconnect with.
While Remy wasn’t eager to reconnect with him, Hyde was determined to have Remy back in his life, he understood that it would take time for her to completely trust him again and he was patient enough to wait. “I’m working on leaving the house in increments. I start my new job in a little under two weeks. I’m going to call you to meet for lunch. Then I’m going to call you and ask you out to dinner. If you agree to either of those, I’m going to call and ask you to dinner and to spend the night with me. I can’t take steps and leave Hollyn alone for that ling unless the person I’m spending time with matters to me as much as she does. It has to be work it to be away. You are worth it, Remy”.
While she considers letting Hyde back into her life, Remy is still struggling with trusting him. This time around, it’s not just Hyde she has to consider, it’s his daughter. She also worries that he won’t be able to “handle” the part of her that is still “too much”. She’s given some sound advice from her best friend Bowe. “He had a lot of opportunities to kiss you back when you guys were younger, but he waited until the time was right… Hyde has always been the bad guy, so you never had to be”. My favorite advice Bowe gives her, “Sometimes you have to fail before you find the right one. If you don’t, how are you going to know the difference between something that’s just kinds of good, and something that has the potential to be great?”
Remy is not the only one struggle with demons, Hyde himself is struggle with abandonment issues from his childhood, and betrayals from those close to him. Both of which makes him wonder if he’s enough. The truth was, I was worried she might finally see me for who I was not that she no longer viewed me through the filter of her youthful obsession. The real me was far from perfect and pretty clueless when it came to making someone else happy, but I was willing to do the work to be the kind of guy who deserved to have Remy in his life.
Just like Jay Crownover’s other characters Hyde and Remy are not relieved of their flaws at their stories end, they acknowledge them, accept them and prepare to for battles ahead.
“You do understand there is no guarantee I’m always going to have it as together as I appear to have it now, don’t you? Who I was then and who I am now all inhabit the same body and mind. It isn’t one or the other. I’m always going to be a little bit too much and never be easy to handle” ….”I never asked for easy. All I asked for is you.” I love how Remy accepts her diagnosis as a part of who she is, and not what she is.
I’ve read pretty much every Jay Crownover book, and what I appreciate most about her is the rawness and the grit she writes with. Her ability to take real-life issues and not “glam” them up but write them for what they are and show us that it’s okay for life to be messy and beautiful at the same time is amazing. Her writing is personal and relatable.
Eight years ago, I picked up my first Jay Crownover book and fell in love with a couple of series about a group of men who didn’t play by the rules, were rough around the edges, were unapologetically themselves, and who managed to fall in love. Now eight years later I’m just as enamored with the next generation.
My favorite line in this book,
Who would’ve ever guessed that the one time I was brave enough to try and grab a handful of stars, I was lucky enough to catch the whole damn sky?
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