Thursday, May 7, 2015

BLOG TOUR: My Time in the Affair by Stylo Fantome


I made a conscious decision to cheat on my husband.

Now, before you judge me, hear my story. Hear how much I'm like you, how similar my thoughts are to your own. Yes, I'm a horrible person. Yes, I've done horrible things. Yes, I don't deserve forgiveness. Yes, bad things happened because of my actions.

But I'm willing to bet I've done things that maybe, just maybe, you have thought of doing.

Maybe, just maybe, you're not as innocent as you'd like to think.

Or maybe I'm not so guilty ...

WARNING: This book involves CHEATING. The word AFFAIR is in the title. The main character has an AFFAIR. In the synopsis (directly above), she states that she intentionally has an AFFAIR. If you don't like CHEATING, then you have been VERY WELL warned. Also, this book is primarily written in the third-person narrative. 

4.5 Star Review by Jennifer Hagen

If there is a book that has the word “affair” in it, it is a given that I will be all over that.  I love the angst of a good love triangle.  This book certainly did not disappoint.  I ended up feeling the same way as the two characters sneaking around – this was more than just a one-night stand or an occasional romp, this was a full-on love story.  I was enthralled by the author’s writing in this unique storytelling. She incorporated first-person dual points of view into a third-person narrative, and made it all feel very real and I could feel every emotion coming from the pages.  This was probably one of the best love triangles books I have ever read, and I have read a lot!  When it came time to do the review, I just wanted to quote lines from the book and let those tell the story for you.

Mischa and Michael have been a couple for 8 years, married 3 of those years.  Gradually Mischa has noticed that the attraction between them is lacking, and they are more best friends than lovers.  They have not had sex for 6 months.  Mischa has lost a lot of weight (50 lbs) but Michael doesn’t seem to even notice; in fact, Michael doesn’t notice a lot about Mischa and definitely does not notice that their marriage is headed to the gutter.  Mischa has tried several times to approach Michael about paying more attention to their relationship, that it needs help and has suggested therapy, but Michael either doesn’t hear her or passively dismisses her.  Mischa has known for a year that she will be sent overseas to help establish new insurance sales companies.  This is when she devises a plan – lose weight, enjoy one night of sex with somebody other than her husband, and she will be ready to go back to her mundane life with Michael—of course after she tells him the truth.  She always planned not to keep this a secret once it happened.  She just didn’t incorporate a man like Tal into her plan.

The setting is beautiful Rome in the evening…  Tal saves Mischa from an unwanted advance and soon she finds Tal advancing on her.  Tal is an undeniable force.  There is no way Mischa could have walked away from him that first night.  Mischa tries to keep her distance from him after doing the walk of shame, but he is everywhere she is.  Tal doesn’t take no for an answer and he uses his own language to tell her that she can’t stay away from him.  Come find me.”  Tal keeps his past guarded and doesn’t reveal much about himself other than he travels a lot for his work and his least favorite country to live in is the United States.

Tal is used to getting his way and he wants his way with Mischa, and sometimes it’s a dirty way.  They have really, really hot sex.  Mischa has never ever had sex like this and before she knows it, this has gone way past a one-night stand.  This is starting to mean something to both of them—there’s more than just sex involved— they talk and spend time together. Mischa hadn’t planned on that happening and she thinks it would be better if they stayed apart.

“If you can look me in the eye and honestly say this doesn’t feel as real as can fuckin’ be, that it’s just something ‘new and exciting’ to you, then I’ll walk out that door.  Never contact you again.”   

Mischa comes to her senses and realizes that she loves Tal and wants to be with him. There’s just one hurdle standing in their way before they can try to make an honest relationship work between them…her husband.  But never fear, Tal has a plan…

“What the fuck happened to the plan!?”
“It’s still the plan!  She snapped back.  “It’s just…delayed, alright!?”
“No! No, not fucking alright!  Grow a backbone, Mischa!”

This was one of the reasons I loved Tal.  He didn’t let Mischa drown under her guilt.  He knew when she was ready to go under and he would constantly pull her right back up to him.  He knew she was scared, but he was strong enough for both of them and was not going to let her back down from either her happiness or his.  Even when things start to go downhill for them because of his omission of truth, he still doesn’t want to let go.

“Do me a favor, Misch?” he asked.  She turned towards him, but he wasn’t facing her. He was staring off down the hall.
“Anything,” she responded.
“Take care of you.  Take care of your heart. And don’t…don’t forget us,” his voice fell into a whisper.

No! NO! NO!!! This cannot be how this love story ends.  I loved Tal, like seriously loved him.  Twice he had her in his arms while she was sobbing and he would lay them both down on the floor and hold her.  How many guys in books do that?  He was a lover, a very tentative lover, who knew that Mischa was finally the one.  He had a lot of women prior to Mischa, but he knew that she was different and that this was not going to be just an affair.  He knew Mischa and knew what she was looking for.  “Come find me.”  In her moments of doubt, she would always find him again.  But has too much happened?  Was the ugly reveal to her husband enough to break her?  Was it the horrific reveal of whatever Tal was hiding enough to have her running?

Never forget.  Always remember.  And when you do remember, when you’re ready…come find me.”   

But what if she’s ready and it’s too late to find him? 

If you are a fan of love triangles, then you will fall in love with this book.  I still am dumbfounded by the amount of emotions I felt while reading this and now even after several days and I’m writing the review, I still am pulled into the story.  I can’t stop reading all my highlights and with every one of them I am transported back to that scene and I can recall the pain one or both of them were feeling.  Why do I always highlight the painful words?  Oh wait…I found a happy one that I will leave you with.

“I’m so in love with you,” she whispered.  “Not half as much as I am with you,” he whispered back.

Excerpt 1:
How much I wanted him took me by surprise. I didn't want to feel that way – I'd been telling the truth. I wasn't looking for another relationship. Clearly, I wasn't good at relationships, and had no business entering into an already-fucked-up-relationship without ending my last totally-fucked-up-relationship.
But it was like he understood me. I could say anything to him, literally anything, and he just got it. He didn't think I was a horrible human being for cheating on my husband. He didn't care that I was married. Didn't care that I was emotionally stunted most of the time, and physically inhibited some of the time. All he cared about was being with me. Everything else, that was just background noise.
I hadn't ever known that kind of freedom, to just be myself, one hundred percent. Say whatever I want, do whatever I want, in all situations. You just can't be like that with most people, there's always a filter that needs to be in place. But not with Tal.
Not in any situations.
I was drunk on him. High on him. I wanted to swallow him down, inhale him, inject him. I wanted him to live under my skin and change my DNA. I wanted to live in his air and breathe his passion.
I thought maybe, just maybe, I could overdose on him. If I could just take him one more time, and shut my eyes, and it would be the last time, with anyone, with anything, that would be alright. Guilt would be gone. Hurt would be gone. Confusion would be gone. Oppression would be gone. Obsession would be gone.
My memory would be his, I would only exist in his mind, and that was fine.
It was the only place I wanted to be, anymore.

About the Author
Crazy woman living in an undisclosed location in Alaska (where the need for a creative mind is a necessity!), I have been writing since ..., forever? Yeah, that sounds about right. I have been told that I remind people of Lucille Ball - I also see shades of Jennifer Saunders, and Denis Leary. So basically, I laugh a lot, I'm clumsy a lot, and I say the F-word A LOT.
I like dogs more than I like most people, and I don't trust anyone who doesn't drink. No, I do not live in an igloo, and no, the sun does not set for six months out of the year, there's your Alaska lesson for the day. I have mermaid hair - both a curse and a blessing - and most of the time I talk so fast, even I can't understand me.
Yeah. I think that about sums me up.
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